Lied to me he was with his parents. Different, young (mid 20s), easily disposable. So he came home , I couldn’t trust him and things just got worse. Which made me think was he thinking of her. I hope you can see and appreciate this, because focusing on your growth and communication will help you and him get closer. I don’t like his job because he has accepted gifts from other women and is a server at an asian restaurant. the most concerning things to me are we have a picture on our fridge from his work a x mas card he looks at the picture a lot and just the other day he said sasha is in that picture i said ok you have been taking quite a bit about her recently he said no i have not shes ugly and tries to hard. My husband started cheating when I left for a job. on me, etc, etc. He offers his arm to me and escorts me, pointing out hazards (be careful) that could snag my heels. I waited 30 years,same stuff,now go running. I called this girl and found out that my husband had for warned her that I would be calling so I can’t believe anything she told me during our converstaion. She enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun. When You Have a Bad Gut Feeling About Your Marriage. My boy friend and I were seeing each other for a little over a month, and he asked me out about 3 weeks ago. I can’t tell you if you should leave him, or if he’s cheating. He was always on his phone . I dont’ believe the things he “says” he wants to improve on because its now Aug 2014, almost a year since i found out all the crap that came out over the months of Nov and Dec 2014, he doesn’t plan romantic wkends, he doesn’t talk to me much and when he does, it feels like excuses for why he doesn’t do anything… not enough money (which is BS) not enough time, what do i do with the kids, i’m tired, i work a lot, etc etc. Something just feels off. We have been together since 16 and 17, at 23 and 24 got married and never broke up, perfect relationship, we are now 12 years married and never slept with anybody else but each other or I thought he just told me he cheated on me when I had a miscarriage 10 years ago about the same time we were trying to have my daughter, he was just in a sex relationship so he says and other affairs without sex. He always start agruments even in small things which always turn out to be a big issues between us. Very unfortunate. But during the last time he moved in, I’ve found questionable text messages from co-workers, business cards from a co-worker (who was advertising massages), and while I was pregnant he went to a strip club. I couldn’t tell from your comment if you’re still living with your husband. SO HE SAID, LET ME GIVE YOU MY CELL NUMBER. I have been married for 2 years. i confronted him and telling me he was about to tell me but i could not listen. In general, if you suspect your husband is cheating, then he probably is. He told me there wasn’t a need to do that because he didn’t sleep with her. Now it’s been over a month and from the time we came back to his mother’s house he was slowly treading away from staying in contact. I had phone records for 2 years that showed a pattern of them talking extensively on a constant basis seven days a week 24-7. I have two adult kids and do not want to burden Them with this. As much as we woukd like to give back what we got, some of us just can’t . Congratulations on your baby – I hope all is well! I gave him a second chance after living in his car and finding his self alone he hasn’t done it since. We both have had infidelity issues in the past but we have worked on them and moved on. My husband usually works on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday’s. It made me so confused and depressed. He cried and threw up and then later said….. may i date you? He is some what awkward in things, but over all, people enjoy his company except they always ask me…..why is he so quiet? Have you directly asked him if he’s cheating on you? I wanted out then, but he convinced me to stay. He’s washing off the remnants of another woman. For the first time he stayed out the whole night and lied where he were. And you are right the intent is there and whether he has gone through with physical contact or not, he will eventually cheat. I wanted to love him and have a life with him that I probably ignored a lot. It’s a terrible situation to be in. I just need to know 100% the truth before I walk away i need clousure. What ever he liked that whore. And im also wondering if his lack of being able to get fully erect with me is also a sign of infidelity. Hey lost! My Mother passed away only last week and now I have this to deal with. He has been cheating or this girl says they have been together everyday for five years. we have separated many times and he came back and say he sorry he love me and want to work it out. I’m left sitting here for 3 or so months now feelin the fool and like I’ve lost my mind. Some are free, some cost money. Well, just recently he decides to come up to me and say that he thinks we should have an open realationship. I asked him over and over. Ami, Im sorry in my experience men and women can’t be friends because you take away from his relationship with his wife. But I see through him.. Hi, I was cheated on about a year ago by my husband! I only know the brother and a couple other sisters of his. That area in a marriage should always be up for discussion, never hid or kept secret like an affair because surprisingly some women may be opt to get more comfortable with your hobbies and of course others may not. Thank you for the comments and your insight. He would see his friends maybe once a week and this was enough…These past few months he has been spending a lot more time then usual with his “mates” (maybe four times a week now) and when I have told him off about it he basically tells me to accept it or find someone else – which is a totally different approach then what he would usually take….. A lot of new young girls have been hanging around his friends house as well because his little sister (who lives there also) just turned 18. The road to mistrust started there and a year later I still don’t trust them. Maybe that is why he tooked advantage of me. I could walk away from this and just take it a misunderstanding..and I wanting a blood test. Write down the answers. Lean on your friends. Of course it was his mom(lie). He PREYS on vulnerable woman like myself. Any advice? But sounds like he really does love you, and your marriage might work out for better. Yet however she probably thinks I’m cheating on her because she read rubbish like this.. so sad so sad… this world looks for too much advice and is too gullible when they receive and never question what is presented to them instead of theorizing and attempting to figure out things first hand. The next morning I got up early and checked his phone and I was not expecting to find any messages because he usually deletes them, but there on his phone was two messages from her and two replies from him. It hurts so bad. Not even two months after we were married i found out he was cheating with me with a girl he previously was with but she had an open marriage. You’re the only person you can change….what changes do you need to make, in order to be happy in this relationship? What you observe and what your boyfriend says to you isn’t as important as what your “spidey senses” are telling you. And I’m not sure what kind of advice I’m looking for but I had to share this somewhere. I would love to look through it but i dont want to b that person. Am I going mental? Remember that it’s not your fault — yes, your mom is in pain because her husband cheated on her. Couldnt come up with a reasonable answer. If you’re really confused and worried about it, I encourage you to talk to a counselor in person. I want him to move. don’t wait for him to cheat, just tell him that you are not “feeling it” anymore, and you should part your ways. He had introduced her to me about a year previous to this incident and gave me her name and said she was the brother of the person we both know. I found out and he keeps denying it and says he loves me with all his heart and only wants to be with me. Is it that he is bored with me and can’t connect? He admitted to me that he asked her out on a date, but she refused to call it a date, so it was merely just friends. I want to try counseling to move forward and he did agree to this. I believe that he has tried to hook up with this girl again. but he doesn’t bother looking for a new job. He took me outside on a stroll…we talked and he said he was sorry about wat he had to tell me. He made his choices. Then he send friend request and they become friends. So after learning about narcissism, I understood I was a victim. I asked her if she had an emotional attachement and she said she was not attached to him but the business/shop. He may not know how to express his feelings to you, and may be feeling pressure at both work and home. Sometimes writing your thoughts can help you work things out, because it can bring clarity and insight. (he knew how they hated me so used them as an escape). He wasn’t treating me like before. I want to leave because I feel so angry of what he has done to me. Required fields are marked *. Easier said than done when you love someone. Be strong sweetie. And like it was said, pay attention to body language. He lied to your face about it, which is just as bad. I can’t predict the future — but I know that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. And that is a bad relationship. I said, she deserves better than you and so do I.. I’m done with these games. I feel like I should trust my husband but he lies. Why would you skype with them people? sometimes when we woman are too much questioning men we pushing them far. I’m so mixed up between how bad what he did actually is and how much I’m overreacting. When I call that office I only speak to him and would never play such games. If your husband really is cheating on you and lying about it, it is better to leave him. he said know. He has admitted: They had frequent lunch dates. I learned a lot from that experience, and my advice to you would be that, it’s good to stand up for yourself, but if you try to control too much, he’ll resent you for it and do it behind your back anyway. The story would always have something more added to it. Awful. What in the heck can I say to that? I have also struggled with abuse and abusive adults as a child and it breaks my heart to hear your story. I feel so jittery right now at the pit of my stomach and my hands get cold thinking about it. He knows I know. (you can see the explenation if you click on my nickname as well..). I caught my husband cheating but he denies it! But I’m really pissed cause he hurt my only child, my grown son! My husband is very smart so he can hide sum of the signs like wen he kums home he stil wants to hav sex but he always accuses me of things, he’ll kum home and look at the bed and snoop around, hes always saying im liying about sumthing or that im cheating. He says she hasn’t cheated on him since. To think it began with Facebook and he allowed our life together to be contaminated by someone who was using him, the way he uses others. He swears they only had a friendship and is not nor ever was attracted to her sexually. We never fight and we just never have any issues. What is your gut telling you about what you should do next? very straight forward and informative.. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband and marriage. As I see it, most (all?) Every time i ask him, he is angry and he reacted so much, he is not sweet as i know him before we got married, for now he loved our 4 months son, is he really cheated on me? Not sure what to do… Been with my fiancé for 4 years, we have an amazing little boy together. I have so much respect for you, and for what you’ve survived! Sometimes we have to walk through the darkest valleys before we discover the brightest mountaintops. 7) The day after I found the photos, I told him I did not trust him. We both are foreigners and it complicates things for our baby. I found out he had been cheating on me while we were courting and funny enough he never stopped.each time i confronted him ,he came out very defensive and made me feel like i did not know what i was saying. The reason I’ve accused him to begin with is because things just don’t make sense. Meanwhile I found out he joined a singles club and I don’t know how long he has been part of this club. So, although my husband has extra work, he does have extra help. THere have been many messages here tha tmake me want to pull my hair out because it’s so obvious! I cheated one weekend in retaliation of a hooker episode 15 years ago, and never did it again. You deserve this break to clear your head because while you are there you will go crazy trying to figure out why this and why that when no answer really seems plausible. Men who cheat don’t walk around with a sign saying “I’m having an affair” — they are often good, upstanding, respectable men who are missing something in their marriages. Received blow jobs from strangers at truck stops. Luckily the woman didn’t respond to my husbands messages. to me its clear that he is still connected to his childs mother. I agree with you 100%. I go to his facebook messages. I don’t know what to do I have been married 10yrs and it has not always been easy. Then I see them both girls who has been messaging with him on facebook. I know she wants him just by the way she moved away from him really fast when I walked over to him. I also told her how I felt and tried to explain my perspective. But the video chat picture was saved in his laptop and IPAD2. I do question time to time who he truly is because sometimes I see him as this amazing man and sometimes I see him as this evil person who destroyed a part of me. You’re left wondering how the conversation took a turn but somehow you’re also apologizing for whatever he’s convinced you that you’ve done wrong. my husband and i just got married barely 3months ago but we have been seeing each other for almost 3years before marriage.during our courtship he was the sweetest person i ever knew and so i did all i could to keep the relationship,i got pregnant for him and that was what triggered our marriage and from that time till now i found out he was just a totally different person. It took me a couple of months to start sleeping with him. We recommend moving this block and the preceding CSS link to the HEAD of your HTML file. I just don’t know what to do and what to believe its killing me. Its devastating. U don’t mention u have any children. He went to work for an independant guy and didn’t come home for 4 months. The sickness and lack of respect and boundaries, that this woman and my husband along with the other ex and God knows who else I don’t know about has changed my life forever . She was also pentecostal and stopped wearing skirts, started wearing make up and cut her hair. help me sarah. I love it. I never had any doubts about him trusted him whole heartdly to me he could do no wrong. The reality is he can’t keep his story straight because covering his tracks is easier said than done. Even his friends are acting strange around you. He was great, best boyfriend ever after that up until about a week or two ago. He said “you heard me”. It’s been three weekend now he’s been going the Saturday and coming back the Sunday. Please help me. They just dont have any responsibility. I found texts to an ex girlfriend where he sent pi of penis and dirty texts like ” wish I was there in bed with u I’d keep I warm”. If your relationship with him were in a safe situation you wouldnt even be questioning his behavior you would know right off the top of your head if he were crazy in love with you. At least seven more affairs. What does your gut tell you about your boyfriend? What a joke, not all men are a$$holes. Truthfully it is 50/50 think of all the money he would have to spend on these things. I was supposed to see it before it was mailed by the staff. us band works away i n ontario for 28 days n h omw for 2 weeks during all this time he constanltly accusse me of cheating or men coming on to me..I have never done nethin to cheat or give him reason to think I have or would..one day evrything is perfect n th e next terrible n fighting..he tells me somethin is wrong n that its worse then cheating..n doesn’t know how to tell me I don’t know wat to do or say nemore I have treied it all ne adivce, Ok so i have been with this guy for 3 years now and of course when i got with him i knew that he had a girlfriend and 2 kids with her but at the same he told me he hated her and didnt like her she was only living at his house for the kids and of course he lives with his parents. May this experience give your life a deeper meaning somehow, and revive your spirit and soul. Thanks for sharing this article. It’s been 3 weeks since he’s called as per our phone records, but who’s to say he hasn’t called from another phone. This is because, while he was in the University, he had a female classmate that he was always walking around with. ask your self this question how old you are, are you having kids together? What do YOU think? I read where a spouse wrote, “I have my self-resect about me” and I guess that is me too. A married man took advantage of me 3 year ago. I don’t get it. God Bless. Not only is the age gap ridiculous, it’s also unreasonable for him to have an emotional attachment to another woman. He used to talk to his Ex and I tried to trust him and I did until I read in one of the conversations he told her he is having feelings for her again. If he would just say that he was deeply sorry for being such a stupid idiot to not consider my feelings about the way he carried on always putting her first, it may ease my intense anger and distrust of him… but he wont. I must tell you, if want any chance at a happy life… DUMP THAT MAN! He seemed much more emotionally in tune with her then with me from what I could tell and he also knew her long before he met me. Love yourself! The one good thing that came out of this relationship is our beutifull and perfect duaghter which is the only reason why i`m stil in the relationship( I gues ), but I fear that whats going on between me and her mother has a negative impact on her. ANYONE PLZ.!!!!!!!!!!!! We’ve been apart for almost half of our relationship due to school and the army. He excepted. I know how it can rock your world. I noticed he was acting different so I logged on one day and confirmed my suspicion. I’ve been the other man numerous times. HE WENT BACK HOME TO HIS WIFR IN N.C. AND LEFT MEH IGH AND DRY. We have two boys together one is 2yrs and the other is 7 months old we have been married 10 yrs together 12. Now he shows no remorse, he even confessed he loves her and that if the husband of hers didnt threaten hi, they would both continue together because they love each other. Im not sure if I’m just over thinking things due to our lack of time we get alone since the baby was born and we have 3 other kids ( 2 from his marriage and 1 from my previous relationship) please give me some advice???? Help knowing when to break up, so you can find a healthy relationship. Wow-so many women who seem torn about what to do when it comes to a cheat in their life. Then a girls page. I was truly taken advantage of at a very vulnerable time, he added a LOT more severe emotional pain & acted like he could care less about hurting me worse! ( son saw her coming out of the hotel room-claims his son was drunk so he is mistaken…) I asked him to explain the pictures he said she was alone and he probable felt bad and chatted with her…The pictures depicted look like they were a couple////lies bother me, the truth would be so much easier to deal with…how do I get the truth? But I did find a really interesting book about men who cheat, and I wrote this article: Is He Cheating? Good luck follow ur gut not all those other fluttery feelings u matter and u deserve to be truly loved!! A sign your husband is lying about cheating is the frequently used words on his phone. I am sick of the lies and the sad part is he almost had me buying his lies. Maybe he’ll even hit the gym to lose those extra pounds! It sounds like you’re confused and conflicted about your relationship. The more they know you suspect or know the more they will try and hide it and the harder it will be for them to get caught! A few hours later I look again and find he had deleted the app. Which he hasn’t done for me. The separation will help me see things better, but I don’t want to be with him anymore. Some software programs let you know all about hidden actions that your husband does online. hi : you said you have been together for 12 yrs girlfrnd and boyfriend, 12 yrs is too long, did he propose to get married to you? I’m done!”. I am sorry this is happening, but you are very young and have your whole life ahead. That he wants children and I can’t give him that. You just have to know that in your heart you are a good wife and if I were you I would tell him how to really feel. We have been married for 30 years and going thru hard timds in our marriage, not intimacy – I was depressed and not interested so I don’t blame this 100% on him, but he still insists they did not have xes and he was there smoking crack. I really love my husband but I dont want to be an idiot. 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